Self-Management & Regulation is the ability to use the self-awareness of your emotions to stay flexible, adaptable and to be able to direct your behavior toward positive outcomes.  As a leader you cannot afford to have out bursts and you must focus on the long-term goals. Consider these categories of learning that can help you on your path:


  • Recognize stress in your body (heat, sweating, stopped listening, frustrated).
  • When you feel tension, breathe deeply & count to 3 before responding.
  • Don’t be afraid to tell others you are working on yourself so they can give you feedback.
  • Learn and practice self soothing practices like meditation, afirmations, listening to music, doing small exercises to increase your body energy, being with friends, taking a warm bath. Find what works for you and take time to appreciate you.
  • Re-phrase negative internal talk to positive options. Instead of
    “I really can’t do this”: Think… “I will try and if I fail, I will try again.”
  • From your daily journal, notice the trends and work on the emotions you want to control. Practice and be patient with yourself.
  • Find strengths in yourself and your team twice as often as looking for weaknesses.
  • Learn and teach how to handle conflict constructively.
  • Look for mentors who are good at your trigger situations and ask for advice.
  • Ask yourself each week how you can improve by just 1%.


  • Schedule time each day just to ask how everyone is doing.
  • Make a point of learning one new thing about a person each day.
  • Be honest about your own biases and work to change them.
  • Link up on social media with a variety of groups and people to get different perspectives.
  • Exercise with others or have a walking club at lunch hour.
  • Join a social group, a charity or volunteer just to meet people.
  • Go to places you don’t normally go.
  • Go out of your way to try new things. It expands your mind and your spirit.
  • Celebrate when you do something you normally would not. That is the first step.


  • List out reasonable goals you can actually achieve.
  • Check your intuition decisions with facts. Try considering the opposite of what you are thinking to see if there are other alternatives.
  • Use lists to keep track but make the list short and time based. This allows more opportunity for success and increased positive emotions to repeat.
  • Use the 5 second rule to minimize procrastination. Count to 5 and just do one thing towards your goal. It doesn’t matter how small the action is. Repeat.
  • Tell a friend or peer what you want to achieve so you have more commitment.
  • Praise and reward yourself when you complete each action step.
  • Remember a plan can change. Try not to stress over this, but rather know it will happen.
  • Set healthy boundaries so you can get stuff done. Learn to recognize what stops you and limit those things when you can.
  • Get your body moving to change your energy state. Increased energy also increased your positive mood.