Dealing With Resentment at Work

In a work situation, eventually someone will do something that you are not happy about. And if it festers, it can turn into real resentment. When that occurs, it can take over your mind and actually change how you act around them but also others. It may appear like you are unhappy or angry. Perhaps you start to gossip about the other party. Any way you look at it, if you do not learn how to handle it, the resentment will show you as a problem for you.  

Here are some best practice tips you can try.

Realize that it is normal for people to see things differently and ultimately act differently. Sometime as humans we do silly or bad things that upset others. Control your blood pressure by seeing the bigger picture and realizing that these things can just happen. 

  • Take a big breath. Often, we react too quickly and then regret what we say or do. Take some time to process what happened and how you feel. Use the situation to learn. If you sit back and think about what happened using curiosity, you may be able to see what could have been done differently. This will help you in future situations. 
  • Make sure what you are feeling is real. Sometimes we make things up or exaggerate the situation. Try to look at it from an outsider’s perspective. What would your friend or your boss say if you told them what happened? Try to get another view of the situation so you can check your potential biases.  
  • Think about the other person. Do you truly understand why they did or said what they did? Sometimes we make assumptions that we know others when they can have a whole different world causing them to act in certain ways. Try to have empathy to see that maybe they don’t have control. 
  • Think about how you may have contributed to the situation. Sometimes we like to blame others because it makes us feel better. If we helped to make the situation occur, we need to accept our part.  
  • If you don’t say anything, the other person may not even realize they offended you. If you decide to speak up, just talk about how it makes you feel. Try not to blame or accuse the other person. When you only speak about your feelings, they cannot disagree. It is  your feelings, not an accusation to them. 
  • Let it go. We need to learn to just let things go, especially at work. Most times, you are not going home with that person. And are they really that important to affect your career or relationship with others around you. And then let’s remember that the stress of holding resentment can certainly affect your health. Learning to just let it go helps you to forgive and forget.